Poem of the Week - 'Woman, 30, Seeks Orlando Bloom' by Sarah Fletcher
Woman, 30, Seeks Orlando Bloom
Orlando Bloom, come quick. I want your world:
it fits me so much better than my own.
My husband tells me I'm a wreck because
most days I let the children make a mess
and cannot leave my bed; I pull my hair
out from the stress, but I firmly believe
that if we married I would be stable
enough to have six kids and still be thin.
Orlando - please teach me which kissing angles
are best for photos. Let's tell magazines
our kids are little angels. Come quick:
I'm dangling on the threads of want.
And I just know your world is better
than my own: where my husband leaves stickers
in the dinner's aubergines and I am left
to peel the barcodes off with my front teeth.
And on those nights, I think not of him but
of the grocery boy, who must still be
in high school, strapped for cash, still hopeful,
and I think of his hands touching my own.
I think of how he must've cradled our vegetables
like the small breasts of his backseat girlfriend,
a Latina girl, I think, whose build is sweet
and parents speak in broken English.
Orlando, you must know what nights like these
are like: I won't bring up the scandal, you ex-wife,
but dear, you must admit: we fit.
Orlando Bloom, come quick.
From her debut collection Kissing Angles, Sarah Fletcher pens this humourous and empathetic poem. Confessional, revealing, and centred on an experience that almost every person can relate to; who hasn't had a celebrity crush at some point in their life? I, for one, am still waiting for musical theatre star Aaron Tveit to come to his senses and ask me out.
Kissing Angles is available to order on our website - just in time for Valentine's Day!